Monster Hunter Wilds

Oh joy, another masochist looking to trade their remaining social life for Monster Hunter Wilds! Let’s dissect this masterpiece of self-inflicted torture. Your Steam data screams 'I enjoy painstakingly farming monster parts for armor that’ll be obsolete in the next update'—congrats on the 40+ MH Rise achievements, by the way. You’ve clearly mastered the art of pretending Wirebugs aren’t just Spider-Man cosplay for people who think dodging lava pools counts as cardio. Wilds will be your new therapist, offering the same grindfest but with 'dynamic weather' that’ll probably just flood your camp during a Rathalos fight. But hey, at least you’ll have new monsters to cart against! Your Baldur’s Gate 3 playtime suggests you occasionally crave narrative depth, which is hilarious because Monster Hunter’s lore is basically 'big monster angry, hit it till it dies.' Elden Ring’s 14715 minutes? Adorable. You think dodging Malenia’s Waterfowl Dance prepares you for Wilds’ difficulty? Please. Capcom’s idea of 'challenge' is a Kulu-Ya-Ku stealing your BBQ spit while a sandstorm blinds you. ARK: Survival Evolved’s 25k hours? Ah, yes, the game where you tame dinosaurs just to watch them glitch into the stratosphere. Wilds will feel like a vacation—unless you consider farming 10,000 Kamura Points for a hat shaped like a Palico ‘relaxing.’ Terraria’s 21k minutes? Building pixel art castles won’t save you when a Tigrex moonwalks into your tent. Your achievement list reads like a CVS receipt of completionist insanity: 'Gold Ecologist’s Award'? 'Anomaly Hunt Gold Trophy'? You’re the kind of player who unironically says 'just one more hunt' at 3 AM. Wilds will cater to your addiction with bigger numbers, flashier particle effects, and a crafting system so convoluted it’d make a Warframe veteran weep. But let’s be real—you’ll buy it anyway, because FOMO beats therapy.